Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Song Requests?

I plan on getting a web cam this week. People have asked me to post some new songs I can sing but I don't know what you would like. I preferably sing country songs because that's about all I can sing, but I do like challenges.

Just comment back with some requests and if I know them I will sing them. If not I will learn them.

A little update as to what Ive been doing this vaca. Not working. My 90 days are up so I'm looking for a new job. I also cut about 5-6 inches off of my hair. I look like a 10 year old but its kinda cute. =p

Monday, December 22, 2008

Me Singing...Ew

video

This is me singing silent night at Rebeccas house on her web cam. The quality stinks and her and I both agree I sound better off web cam.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

ps. I really dont like it but im doing it anyway.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Lately...

Nothing much has been going on. I went back to school after thanksgiving break and continued working hard to keep my grades up. Ive been trying my best not to get any zeros and that's been working out well. The only zero I have is in Bio because this past Wednesday night I had my Christmas Concert and I didn't have time to do it. But I still have an 80 in that class so I'm all good.

As for the Christmas Concert it went well. Grammy and Sandra stopped by for dinner and then I left to go to school to warm up. Mom recorded it but I cant put it on the computer because I don't have a USB cord and I cant find one to fit the camera ANYWHERE. Anyone have any suggestions? We sang the songs well except for the last song which was Glory and we had to sing and dance which I clearly can not do. Haha.

My best friend Rebecca recorded some of one of the songs from the Christmas Assembly during school. The quality isnt so great because she did it on her camera and not a video camera but at least youll get an idea of it. Its a lot less formal though. During the concert we had to wear black on bottom and a white collared shirt with a red robe thing over it.

Heres the link
http://s45.photobucket.com/albums/f75/heavensent0830/?action=view¤t=12-10005.flv

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Birthday

Today my birthday at school went well. This is what my day consisted of. I got up early to make sure I didn't forget the 44 cupcakes I made last night. It was horrible getting on the bus because I had my back pack, a duffel bag full of cupcakes and a Shaw's bag full of cupcakes. I go to get off the bus and I whacked my forehead on the top of the door. That's what I get for being tall. Then first period I'm taking a test and I hear " Heather Lloyd to the office please Heather Lloyd to the office." Well that's not me so then I hear, " Sorry Heather LORD to the office please." Aha. So I get down there and my best friend, Becka( the one in the picture with me from a previous post), was late to school because she brought me balloons =).
Then I had second period and nothing good happened. Third period came and I passed out my cupcakes. It was all good. After that we worked on our projects. While I was working on it I dropped something so I bent down to pick it up and when I did I slipped in my chair and bashed my face on the edge of the table. Ouch. So embarrassing.
Fourth period, concert choir had a surprise party and sang happy birthday to me and handed out cookies.
I get ready to get back on the bus at the end of the day and I slip and fall with everything in my hands. I was all dirty and again embarrassed.
So I get home and just wanna relax. I start sing my heart out and the phone rings. Its Donna from down stairs. Shes calls to say happy birthday but also asks me if I ever thought about trying out for New Hampshire Idol. I flipped out. I was like " OMG do you hear me singing all the time?" She said no but when she does she will stop what shes doing and mute the tv to listen to me. So embarrassing. So we talked about it for about five minutes. She says I have her support support and so does Mike ( her husband ) because apparently hes my biggest fan.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Life Right Now

I'm doing well in school and I'm hoping to get the car back for Thursdays and Fridays. I got it taken away because I got a D on my report card and driving the car is a privilege. I haven't worked since the 9Th so I'm without at check this week. However, I am working on black Friday from 3pm to 11pm. Yay me...not. Then I have to get up in the morning to work again Saturday from 10am to 6pm. I won't be able to go to Steph and Chris's 25Th anniversary party =(. I'm sorry. I told them I couldn't work after 3:30ish but they are dumb. So since I wont see you then Ill say it now, HAPPY 25TH!!!!

Thank You Auntie Robin, Luke and Alyssa for the birthday money. Thank you Alyssa for picking out the piggy card. Its cute.

My birthday is on Tuesday. I'm getting that much closer to adulthood. Yikes!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I wish....

I'm at the point in my life where I don't know what to think about anything. I don't know how I should feel about anything. When I come across a conflict, I struggle with what to say or what to think or how I should feel. Is what I think wrong? Is what I say really how I feel? Is what I feel really what I want to say?

And then there is the opinion of what others think about my situation. It seems that sometimes their opinion and my opinion get smooshed in between a rock and then makes things more confusing.

I want to think for myself about situations, but I can't because it feels wrong.

It doesn't make sense.

Sorry.......

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Two Weeks

Only two weeks until my birthday, 9 days until grammy's birthday, and who knows when Ella will come, but Gram and I are happy to invite her into the November birthdays.

I will go over what I want again.

NO GIFT CARDS
Unless its for i tunes.

This may sound gross but being a teenager and all I'm getting acne and I would like the Clean and Clear black head eraser. http://www.drugstore.com/qxp189168_333181_sespider/clean_and_clear/blackhead_eraser.htm

That's just about all I want. I miss those little kid years when I wanted every toy in the world, but I'm gonna be 17 and don't want no toys.

Work. I've only been working one day a week. That makes me made but next week I will be scheduled a lot more. I can't wait. I really need money to save up.

School has been real good too. I'm starting off way better than I did last quarter.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

New Arrival



My friend Chelsea had her baby girl today. If you remember I told you that coincidentally Kristyn and Chelsea had the same due date. Baby Meagan is here now we just gotta wait for sweet baby Ella.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Got It

I got the job at the Gap.

I start on Sunday.

I get 7.75 an hour.

I work 0-25 hours a week.

I am proud.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

She's So Lucky

So guess who has an interview tomorrow?!!!

YUP me! Today I went to the Tangor Outlet because I saw on the website the a lot of the stores were looking for part time seasonal help. I figured even if it was seasonal I should still go apply because at least while I'm looking for a permanent job Ill be getting money. So I applied to a couple places. Throughout the night I was thinking about applying to the Gap but then I would rethink it because I bet you had to be 18. So the last place I went was the Gap because I knew I needed to give it a shot or at least ask if you had to be 18. I went in and I asked if they were hiring. She said yes and then told me the hiring manager was right behind me and told me that I should fill out the application right here and give it too her after. So the whole time I was filling out the application I was talking to the manager too and just being nice and trying to look like I was right for the job. I did the smile thing a lot which is what mom tells me to do cuz she says my smile is a killer. So I guess my smile was extra killer tonight because she scheduled an interview for me before I was even done the application. So tomorrow I have an interview at the Gap at 3! Yay me. Wish me luck

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

34 Days

I'm still applying for jobs and still worring about what will happen after high school. Theres no doubt that I want to go to Cosmetology School. I would like to go to the Empire Beauty School right here in Laconia so I can stay at home. If I don't get into Empire than I will apply to Michael's School of Hair Design and Esthetics which is in Bedford. I may even apply to both so I'm not hanging if I don't get into Empire.

I'm singing the National Anthem with 8 other people next Thursday at the Jag Ceremony. Jag is a program at school. I don't know much about it. I also did not get into the Lakes Region Music Festival. I'm not upset about it because it wasn't anything I had to audition for. Mrs. Gibson just submitted our names and the people running the festival randomly selected names. So that means that Kim will not be able to see a concert of mine until next year when she moves back.

My grades are for the most part really good. Except for my Geometry class. Im not doing so hot in that class but I'm not failing either. So I went to my guidance counselor and we had a meeting this morning with my teacher. Didn't really do much, but I am determined to pass this class and never ever have to take a math class ever again.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do You Know What I am Talking About?

I need to STOP thinking I'm at the BOTTOM, when I know I'm at the TOP.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

64 MORE DAYS

So um my 17Th birthday is in 64 more days in case you were wondering. So that's about 63 more days for you to think about what to get me.

Most of all I really want a job but I don't think any of you can give me that.

I really want some new songs on my I pod so a i tunes gift card would be great.

That's the only gift card I would like so please don't get me any store gift cards or anything.

Cards with a little cash is good too.


Thanks, I will remind you in about a month.

Friday, September 19, 2008

I got it!

I caught what every one else has. Im sick and should be lying in bed but I hate not doing anything. I feel miserable...

Why don't sick kids stay home so people like me don't catch it!!!!! It's common sense!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


This is a picture of my best friend, Becka and I. My eyes look amazing in it and I didnt even edit it. We were outside at lunch today and she begged me to take a picture with her. What you don't see is that my mouth is full of pop corn. Haha.

Junior year so far has been going great. Excpet I switched out of Culinary Arts and into Early Childhood Education. It's so much more fun. I get to play with the little kids in the high schools day care and then we get to do crafts. Before we go in to play with kids we have circle time and we play little kid games. It's fun.

I just learned today that I can graduate early. I can graduate in January 2010, which is the end of 1st semester, instead of June. I feel like I really would like to do this to get a head start but I'm not too sure because I can't walk with the rest of the class. All I get is my diploma.

I applied to Laconia Athletic and Swim Club today. They pay $9 an hour and my Becka works there too. She put in a good word for me and they are considering it.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

It's Official!

I became a Junior today.

My first class is Geometry. The first thought I had about that was " Great, I get to wake up to Math every morning." But then I got to thinking that I really don't hate math. I'm good at it and I don't mind it. Plus this is my last semester of Math and I never have to take it again. My teacher already gave us homework for tonight.

My second class is Biology. I think I will like it from what my teacher was saying. But I don't want to get too far into thinking it will be great. We do a lot of projects which I am great at and I like doing them. What I am not looking forward to is we dissect squid, shark, and worms. Im just glad is not frogs.

My third class is Culinary Arts. Im excited about that as well. It's basically like working in a restaurant because Mr.Aldrich assigns differents jobs to us each week as well as cooking. But along the way we learn how to cook and bake. Our first assignment is to make 400 lunches for a company thingy. Thats next week. But every day we make lunch for the school day care children. We sell the baked deserts(spelling?) to the public. The coolest part is that we each get our own chef uniforms. Hat included.

My last class is CONCERT CHOIR. So excited. I love it. Thats pretty much all I can say is that I love it. We have a concert every month starting in October. Way different from Full chorus because there you only have 3 a school year. The concert choir expectations are so much higher.

I like the new 4 classes shedule a lot better. It made me feel like the day went by faster because after first class you think " wow only 3 more to go" and then so on and so forth.

Ready or not here I come!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I MISSED IT!!!

So I just found out that the American Idol tour was in Manchester NH on August 10Th and I missed it.

If you didn't know already, Mom and I have talked it over and she said if I honestly, truly, really wanted to audition for American Idol I could. She would support me no matter what. And I honestly, truly, really want to audition.

I know it's tough and Simon can be a meany head. But I don't care what he says. It's worth a try. I sang in front of every body in the Pav and I got a lot of good feed back. If I can sing in front of 30 or more people I can sing in front of three judges. And since then I have improved. I must not suck that bad if I can get into the Barber shop festival and concert choir.

Singing is my life.
"No guts, no glory."

High School Drama

And I havnt even started school yet....

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Too Young to be a Junior

This past summer I have realized that I'm growing up fast. I will be in my 3rd year of high school this year and it feels like I just started high school. I've also realized that I need to take responsibility for a lot of the things I do or want. I need to get a job. Most of my summer I've applied places and then I just stopped applying because I didn't want to give up my summer. That was a bad choice.

My 17Th birthday is coming up faster than expected and I'm dreading it. I'm sure my mother is too. I guess I wasn't really sure of what would happen while growing into a young adult. Now I know. I have to work hard in school. I have to get a job. I have to look for colleges. I have to take care of myself. Although I am nervous about my life after high school, my mother has done an excellent job of raising me on her own for almost 17 years. And on her own she taught me the values of life whether she spoke it or I observed it.

I will admit that I am afraid of growing up.
A lot has happened to me in my 16 years. I don't look at them as being bad things I look at them as being life lessons. Duane was an addict and I know what its like to be on the other side. I believe he was in my life for that reason. He taught me what it's like to go through this stuff. And while I was never doing drugs, I know what the effects are on your body, your mind, and your family. I have promised my self I will never do drugs or ever get involved with anyone who does. My dad left me when I was born and has been in and out of my life for 16 years. He's not in my siblings lives either. I'm still struggling with that but it has made me a stronger person. I realize that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes the people who care the most have to pay for it.

I have a good head on my shoulders and I intend to do the best I can and nothing short of it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Im not too Impressed

I went to my interview early. I got there around 12:15 and at 12:20 we started the interview. I get in there and she was looking over my application and said " Oh you're not 18?" I said " No, I thought I put my birth date on the application." She said I did but she didn't look over the application before Mr. Mitchell sent up and interview. Then she asked me why I applied if the applicant had to be 18 and I told her that the website said nothing about having to be 18 ( only I told her in a more polite way) and she appoligized and said she would have that fixed right away.

I am definatly not impressed. They wasted my time and theirs because they didn't look over my application. It made me look like a fool.

mixed feelings

I have my interview at 12:30 today at Northway Bank. I sorta don't want to get the job. I'm actually enjoying my summer for the most part and I don't want to waste it working. But I need a job. If I want a car I need a job. If I want to move out later in life I need to save up.

Everybody has to work at some point in their lives and I am one of them who does not want to.............

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Im sorry

Yesterday I posted a blog about how happy I was to get a job interview when In reality I was miserable all day. I tried hard not to think about it. I had a small talk with my mom about it and that was all. I don't know why but today I hurt more than I did yesterday. I hurt more last weekend too. Jesse and I stayed up until one in the morning just talking about Joe and the last weekend we had spent with him. And I remember how I almost didn't even come up that weekend and I'm glad I did. Then the next night Jenn and I talked for hours about him. I don't know why I feel more hurt today than yesterday. I guess I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to be reminded. But everyday I am reminded. I miss him.

Friday, July 25, 2008

GOOD NEWS

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance switching to Gieco!!!

Haha jk

I HAVE AN INTERVIEW NEXT WEDNESDAY!

It's at Northway Bank and I applied to be a Teller. I'd work about 18-20 hours a week and start out pay is $9 an hour. I'd also get to get out of work at 4 on mondays, tuesdays, and wednesday and then I get out at 5 on thursdays and Fridays. Thats only if I work afternoon shift. I get out at 12 on saturdays. AND as everyone knows there is no such thing as a bank open on sundays! The good thing is that it's about a 10 minute walk there. It's in downtown.

I'm so excited for my interview. I hope I get the job. Actually, I KNOW I will get the job!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Long time

Um its 4:00 in the morning and I can't sleep. Which is weird because I went through a few weeks just wanting to sleep and now I can't sleep.

I need a job real bad. I've applyed to more places and some places more than once. I still haven't heard anything back yet. After this post I'm probably going to look for jobs again.

I've been to camp a lot already. I know deffinately more than I went last summer. It's been fun. Except this weekend all it did was rain.

I found out I go back to school on September 2nd. Whoo Hoo. Not.

Nothings really going on....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Excited

I am so excited to go to camp tomorrow. I have my costume almost all ready. I watched the third Indiana Jones last night and then started building my costume at like 10:30 at night and didn't stop for two hours. Actually Scott pretty much made it for me I just glued things together. Oh and its not really a character. Its more like part of a scene from the movie. I thought that would be okay. I hope so!

Today I get to go to Robins and help her get ready for camp too. I'm excited to see her, the kids, and Jack! So I was up today at 5:45am and never really fell asleep til around....2 am? I don't even feel tired at all. Ive slept so much for the past week ( too bad I didn't get paid for sleeping. Id be rich) that I guess my body just isn't tired anymore. I think I'm going through another growth splurt. Do 16 year olds get those? Pssh I hopes so! Jesse being 13 and taller than me just feels weird.

Anyways I gotta go wake up my mother so she can get ready for me to take her to work so I have the car today....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

I cant take it!!!

Im quitting home goods as soon as I get another job.

My boss wouldn't give me my check tonight even when I asked for it. She also told me she'd give me the fourth off if my other boss confirmed that I told her I needed it off at the interview. So she did confirm it but the other boss still wont give me the fourth off. A girl who started the same EXACT day that I did already got a raise. She works two days a week and does her job poorly. I always end up redoing the work she does. This is crap. Sorry to those who are fans of the Tjx companies but I don't think how they are treating me is fair.

Im applying at Friendly's and at Merideth savings bank. Merideth Savings is hiring high school students and they pay well. Its also better because they are only open until 12 on saturdays and arent open on sundays so I could go up to camp saturday afternoons. I dont want to get my hopes up so Im trying to stay calm.

Opinions? I need help

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Whether you wanta hear it or not....

Next time I go back to school....I'll be a junior. That means I'll be turning 17 and it also means one year closer to graduating. I plan on making these last 2 years of my teenage life special before I go off into the real world.


READY, SET, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

OMG

IM GOING TO CAMP! IM GOING TO CAMP! IM GOING TO CAMP TOMORROW!

Are you?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Its been a while...

It's been sooooo hot here and I don't wear shorts or anything that cuts above the elbow and I havent for a while. I really cant complain about how hot I am because its my choice not to wear short things but I can say....


I AM SO EXCITED TO GO TO CAMP THIS WEEKEND. I CAN'T WAIT!!!


Probably been a while since you've heard me say that huh?

Friday, June 6, 2008

JUST KIDDING

when i asked who was going up to camp this weekend I meant NEXT weekend. hehe my bad

Kim & Steph

How do you plan to get to camp? And yes I'll be at camp if you'll be at camp. And Ive saved up both my pay checks so far. I get my third one this week and it should be doubled the amount I got from last weeks because I worked more.

Steph your suggestion was great. I'll talk to my friends about it.

For everyone else...WHO ELSE IS GOING TO CAMP THIS WEEKEND???? I'll be there!!!!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Not Going

I decieded not to go to France and Spain. Money is a big issue and it cost $2,199. Tonight at the meeting they said nothing about fund raising. It would be really hard for me to save up for a car and the trip. It is really upsetting but somethings just can't be done.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Confidence

" Ya know? I wouldn't have put you in concert Choir if I didn't think you had a good voice. You have a beautiful voice. You just need a shot of confidence every step you take."

~ Mrs. Gibson

She told me this today when I was taking my exam for chorus which part of it is and oral exam. She said this when I was to quiet or not really trying. What she said has been playing over and over in my head like a broken record. It still doesn't seem real that I'm even privileged enough to be put in Concert Choir.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Aww Man!

So if some of you don't know already, my friend Chelsey is having a baby and is due the same day as Kristyn. I know, I said my friend. Before you judge which I don't think you will but let me just say that she already had a job, she has only been with her boyfriend and she is graduating next Friday. I know all that doesn't make it okay but she is responsible and I'm helping her through what I can. I feel sort of bad because the other day she asked me if I wanted to be at the hospital while she was in labor and I told her I wanted to stick around my family for Kristyn.

So today I was excited because she was going to find out if she was having a boy or girl. BUT they baby decided to be stubborn and wouldn't turn over. So we don't know. Hopefully Kristyn's baby doesn't do the same.

My mom is letting me go to France and Spain next year. The info meeting for parents and students is Thursday but I can't go so mom is going all my her lonesome. I have to work but it's okay cuz I have to save up every penny. I'm still trying to think of ways to save up for a car too. I will do this. I am determined.

KIM I HAVE JUNE 13Th, 14Th, and 15Th OFF SO I CAN SEE YOU AND JESSE. I was wondering what plans were for that weekend. Are you going to Robins or are we all heading up to camp?

I also have the weekend of 4Th of July off. Looks like I wont be around for the fun and games this year. I'll be too late.

I also have only 11 more days of school and then I become a big bad Junior in high school. Can you believe it? I'm almost to my third year.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Great Opportunity.

My french teacher and a Spanish teacher at my high school are planning a trip to go to France and Spain for next April Vacation. I've really wanted to go to Paris since 9Th grade and I finally have the opportunity to do it. I feel like this is a one chance opportunity for someone my age. Especially since the high school doesn't do this very often, like maybe once ever 4 years. Big problem... MONEY. It will cost $2,199. However, when my teacher finds out who will actually be going ( and she will know because you have to make a $95 pay to be sure your going but that $95 is still part of the $2,199) so when she figures out who is actually going there will be a parent/teacher/child meeting to set up fund raisers and payment plans etc etc. I really really really really really really really really really want to go but I also have to save up for a car. So I'm like ' Car? Europe? Car? Europe? Car? Europe? ' i think if we do fund raisers and what not it shouldn't be to hard for me to save up for a car too. So since my birthday and Christmas is before next April Vacation. Money is defiantly on my list. And it wouldn't be waisted. Every little bit counts so make sure you remember I want money for my birthday. That probably makes me sound real greedy but i don't mean it like that.

First off this is what the $2,199 fee is for:

1.Round trip airfare
2.7 overnight stays at a beautiful hotel ( Ill be there for about 10 days total, 1 day arriving 1 day leaving)
3.Breakfast and Dinner
4.Full time bilingual tour director
5.3 sightseeing cities: Paris, Barcelona and Madrid
6.1 sightseeing by personal director: Carcassonne ( wherever that is)
7.Walking tours in Paris and Barcelona
8.Orientation tour in Madrid

These are the plans:
Day 1- we leave on the Thursday before April Vacation and we are excused from school
and its a 6 hour plane ride over the Atlantic( obviously )

Day 2- we are introduced to our tour directors and he/she explains rules and what we are doing ( that's the only boring part )

Day 3- we visit Paris and the Eiffel tower, something to do with Napoleon( i think his house or museum, Louis XI V's home for the wounded soldiers, the Ecole, the Opera Garnier and the Place Vendome.

Day 4- Free time in Paris. We can walk around and do whatever we want with our chaperone's. spend money..ha ha if i have any to spend

day 5- we go to the Musee d'orsay. Museum of art work by Monet, Renoir, Degas, Sisley, Pissarro and much more. After that we do a walking tour of Paris ( or some of it) Then we go to the Norte dame Cathedral ( so excited )I think about the Hunch back of notre dame when i think about visiting it.

day 6- we arrive in Barcelona and Toulouse. But we mostly visit Carcassonne that day.Than back to Barcelona.

day 7- we go to the la sagrada familia which is a huge-mungus church and its beautiful( check it out on Google images), we go to the Magic fountain of Montjuic than we go to the top of Montjuic hill. then we go to the Plaza de colon which was built in honor of Christopher Columbus (even though i don't like him very much)
Then we go to where the famous artist Gaudi lived.

Day 8- we go to Zaragoza and that was a city founded by Caesar Augustus in 19 B.C. After we visit that city we head over to Madrid.

day 9- Last visit in Europe to Madrid.We go sightseeing and pass through the 9 arched gateways leading to the renaissance hub of the city. We go to the grand square. We visit the castle of King Philip V. ( who ever that is ) At night we get to go watch the Flamenco dancing.

Day 10- That's the Saturday before school starts back up...we head back home all pooped out from all the excitement.

Sunday- we go home and sleep

My best friend Becka and I would really like to do this together. She's going to be a senior next year and thinks it will be better than going to Boston for a senior trip. I'm real excited and hoping my mom gives me the O.K. I will bring my camera tons of baterys and tons of memory cards so i can show pictures to everybody. I'm actually hoping Mr. Martin will let me take his Olympic camera over. I don't think he'd have a problem with . I think he'd be wicked excited for me to take pictures of that kind of stuff.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Dont Like Change

I was so excited getting this job. I thought about all my possibilities getting money in my pocket. I would save every last penny of it to put a down payment on a car and then hope I made enough to pay monthly payments. I know I will because I've been working a lot. I've already worked 20 hours and today Ill be working for 8 hours. Then I have to work tomorrow. I don't want to work both days every weekend. I'm still a teen and I have things I want to do too. I used to go see Scott every weekend but now when I work he doesn't and when I don't work he does. So there is no time to see each other. My biggest concern is not being able to go to camp. If I have to work Saturday and Sunday every weekend I'm going to cry.

Mom told me you guys saw 6 moose. I wanted to cry real bad because the only nature I saw was a spider in the car WHILE I WAS DRIVING and it was HUGE. Bigger than a quarter. And it's still in the car not dead... EWWW BEEPA COME KILL IT!!!!

I wanna see mooseys

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Its okay, stress is normal...

It's getting close to the end of the school year and I am obligated to do my school work to the best of my ability. I will be a junior next fall. But I have to do my best especially with English 9. I am taking that class over again right now because I failed it last year. If I fail again this year I am going to flip. We got progress reports and I got 4 A's 1 B and....a D. Guess which class I'm getting the D in? Yup English 9. I don't understand why though because I get papers back and I don't get anything less than a C on my work. I saw that I had zeros so I went back and looked to make sure I had the work and I did and now she wont take it to put in her rank book. It's stupid. I did the work, I have a grade for it, so why is it a 0 on my progress report? If she keeps this up I will go to the Principle. I could get high honor role this quarter and if my English teacher ruins it because she doesn't know how to record her grades I'm going to be SOOOOOOOOOO MAD.
Work? After two hours of training on the register she put me on BY MYSELF. It's not hard but I'm still a little slow with it all. Customers get a little frustrated but I have a tag that says " In training " so its not my fault if they chose to cash out at my register. I have to work tomorrow night and I don't know how I feel about that...


WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF RESPONSIBILITY HEATHER!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

1st Day Of Work

Today I had to watch an hour and half movie all about the store. After that one of my managers, Faith, walked me through everything and got me comfortable with the store and each department. I got paid for all three hours today. Sunday I get time and a half for working from 10 am to 3:30pm. Then I work Wednesday and next Saturday from 5:30pm to 9:45pm. I am so excited....

Yes Gram I get an extra 10% off everything. Not this weekend but next weekend I get 25% off. But that's memorial day weekend.

I might have to work memorial day monday but I can probably get it off. If not than I get time and half for that too because I get time and a half for Sundays and Holidays. I also get paid for the holidays I don't work, even my birthday!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

FORGET WAL MART!!!!

I got pretty sick of their non-sense so I had my interview for Home Goods ( Grammy's favorite store) today. The manager lady, Jen, gave me my interview and hired me on the spot and wants me to start on Friday May 16Th. That's a lot sooner than Wal Mart. I get paid a dollar less an hour at Home Goods but I like it better at Home Goods and my hours there are flexible where as my Wal Mart hours would have been the same. Having a flexible schedule has up-sides. Like, I already get 4Th of July off and a few days around that time because I explained my camp life a little bit. Also I could work nights one weekend and then days another weekend. I don't have to work Saturday and Sunday every weekend either. It could just be one or the other every so often. Home Goods is also a lot closer than Wal Mart.

Now I just have to call Wal Mart tomorrow and explain my situation. I really hope they don't get mad because technically I was already hired by them I just hadn't started my hours yet....

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Makes me MAD

So I had my pre-employment drug test. I passed just like I said I was going to. HOWEVER, Stacey called me back today and says she doesn't want me to come in for an orientation until Monday May 26Th. I have that day off from school so I as far as that goes I don't have a problem with. The thing that bugs me is that it wont be another week and a half until I start working for sure and get paid. I get paid for 8
hours of orientation but I really need to start working like....NOW.

I have an interview for Home Goods tomorrow in Gilford. I don't know why I agreed to take the interview but I guess it could be a good thing.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Bike?

Yesterday I went for a two mile bike ride with Scott and his brother. We biked a mile down to the park and played on the slides and on the swings there and then biked back. I didn't really go for exercise but I got some anyway. I think if I actually have time I will go for a bike ride every weekend... but first, I need a bike.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Life's good

So I told you about my new job at wal mart. They hired me right on the spot over vacation. I then went to camp and when I came back I went right into surgery so I couldn't really work or have do my training. I called them back and no one that I needed to talk to was available because they to went on vacation. So I got mad and applied to other places. Well last Friday wal mart called me back and asked me to go in and take a pre-employment drug test. So I went today and Myles, the big boss, told me that Stacey, his assistant, will call me after they get the results back and she will set up training and hours for me to start. YAYY ME

Mom asked if I passed the drug test and I told her yes even though I really don't know the results but I have no doubt I will pass because IM A DRUG FREE KID. GIVE HUGS NOT DRUGS ♥

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I Admit it

If you haven't heard already I skimmed my moms rear drivers side tire on a yellow post. So right above the tire on the car there WAS a yellow streak. But I washed it off so most of it is gone and what is left you can barely see. There aren't any dents or anything so mom isn't mad or anything. But really she can't be because I heard she did the same thing to Grammie and Beepa's car when she was my age.

So for now if I ever want to go through a drive through she wants me to park and GO IN. I agree because I felt so guilty about it and I still do even though it's all taken care of. I mean I called her the second I got the food and parked somewhere.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

*Sighs*

I cried today. I can't help but to feel angry and I don't know what to do about that. I don't want to feel angry anymore but it won't go away. I probably sound really stupid and rediculous but this is just how I'm feeling right now...

Life...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Grrrr

Today I am in more pain than I was yesterday or Friday. I've lost more than 5 pounds since Friday and I dont even know how that's possible considering it looks like Ive gained 5 pounds in my face. Im never getting teeth pulled ever again no matter how bad they are hurting me. * sighs *

Friday, April 25, 2008

Gulp...Gasp...GAHHHHHHH


I'm ending my vacation with a few teeth being ripped out of my mouth. I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled out at 11:50 today. I've heard a lot of stories and they don't sound to painful mostly because you're knocked out. My worries are snoring, drooling, talking in my sleep, or at least trying to, etc etc. Some of you, if not most of you know my sleeping habits....

Monday, April 21, 2008

Finally


I got my license today. I passed the written test with only ONE wrong out of 30 questions. I passed the final drivers test with the examiner with ZERO points off. Heres a picture of my new shiney peice of plastic that means oh so much to me.

well...

I got the job but im not taking it. Of course my mother has a problem with it because my hours start at 5pm which means she'll have to switch her hours to go to work at 6:30 am so she can come home and drop me off at work. It's the tilton walmart so I understand it will be a bit of a struggle for a little while but its also like I need a job real bad so I can save up and do what I need to do to grow up. It's also screwing up her vacation this week because I have to go get my drug test tomorrow morning and she wants to go to camp. So whatever I cant do anything unless she's happy.

I tried explaining to her that she could switch her hours back when I get my car soon but no it has to be her way or no way.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I have.....

I have my first ever interview tomorrow!!! It's walmart but it's better than nothing right? My interview is at 10 am. Then later on I go to the Dmv to get my license.

Wish me luck!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays


Happy Birthday Kristyn...

Happy Birthday Beepa....

Happy Birthday Aunty Steph...

Happy Birthday Alyssa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

License Please?


On Monday Mom and I have decided I will be going to the Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and taking my tests to get my license. At first I didn't want to tell anyone when I was going just incase I didn't pass and wouldn't have to suffer from the embarrassment and then I figured Ill do just fine and pass with flying colors.I was real embarrassed when I was the FIRST one NOT to pass the boating class thingy. And I'll be even more embarrassed if im the FIRST one NOT to pass this license. Just as long as mom lets me drive there and practice a little bit before I should be fine right?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

SMILE

I went to the dentist today because I'm my wisdom teeth are coming in and they are hurting my mouth real bad. They also are cramming my teeth together which makes me not want to smile because they look really bad. I've noticed a big difference since my wisdom teeth decided they wanted to pop through.

Dr. Scura explained to me why we have wisdom teeth if there isn't even enough room for them. Basically is because many years ago our jaws were bigger and we were more of the ape/cave man form and as he says " god only knows what we were chewing on then." Over time our diets change and we morphed into what we are now allowing us to have smaller jaws with less need of that 3rd molar(wisdom teeth). Then Dr.Scura explained every step of what would happen and why its good for people my age to get wisdom teeth taken out now. Again, basically because those teeth haven't formed roots yet and aren't embedded into the jaw bone.

These people were so much nicer then the denist office I went to before. So I get my teeth pulled out on friday the 25Th. Thats my 16Th year and 5 month birthday hahahaha.

Mom and I think that the waiting room was based off of the dentists waiting room in Finding Nemo because they had a big fish take with a clown fish like Nemo and a blue fish Like Dory. They had a couple othere wierd things in that take too. Like this green blob looking thing that moved. It was creepy. Then there was a shrimp and like these spider looking things and crabs.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

If you havent heard...

I passed my drivers ed class just like I said I would! Next I have to go to the DMV and take my eye test and then my writen test and then my driving test and then hopefuly smile for the camera. Only one person didn't pass the test last night.

I'm sick now though. I have a real bad cough, sore throat, and stuffy nose. Im coughin up a little bit of blood but im sure its just because my throat is dry. I still went to school though. Tomorrow I get to miss all my classes except one because im going to the dentist.

Today was Alex's 17th birthday and it they also had Ben and Alex's funeral today. Rest easy loved ones.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Deffinatly wont be getting my license


I had my last drive today with my driving instructor, Mr. Lamarre. On the last drive he sort of pretends like its my drive with the DMV. I didn't do so well either. He said he was feeling nice today so took off only 15 points. You're only allowed to get 20 points or less off. He said he really should have taken off 30 points. How does that make me feel? Pretty Crappy. So on the drive back to school I did even worse.

I need to work on my parallel parking, coming on to the ramp of the bypass/freeway and staying in the correct lane. It wasn't that I was in the wrong side of the road it was that the paint is so worn off from all the salt and snow. I can't tell if its a two way side of the road or a one way side especially if its a fairly narrow road to be a two way. Which usually he will tell me a narrow road is two way like in down town.

My final for the class is tonight. I have no doubt that I will pass the class but I don't think I will pass the driving test for the DMV.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Rest In Peace Ben



I went to school with these boys. Alex moved last year to Gilford. I was in Ben's Science class in first semester. They were only 17. Id show pictures of the crash but they are to horrific. What I've heard is that the boys were trying to cut infront of an oil truck and they didn't make it so the oil truck rolled on top of them.

I hate wednesdays.

Friday, April 4, 2008

For Josh

I changed my picture!!! Did you see? I dont like it so dont get used to it. ♥

Thursday, April 3, 2008

For Robin

Robin If you havent seen this episode of Jeff Dunham, you can watch it now.



AND......




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

uhhhh?

So than what do I take pictures of?????

New Camera



Okay so I didn't get a new camera. However, the photography club teacher guy thing let me borrow his $800 camera. Its just like aunty stephs. I took a picture with my old camera so you could see this one that I borrowed. He said I could borrow it for as long as I want as long as I have good consistent pictures to give him. YAYY.

Monday, March 17, 2008

I dont know if I should do this...

A quote I saw on my calendar, " Too much of a good thing can have its consequences."

The fist things I thought of when I read this was that I got into concert choir and I tried and tried to get in and now I dont feel like Im good enough. Same goes for drivers ed. I stink at driving and mom even said so but she wont even take me driving. This is my third week of drivers ed and guess how many practice hours I have at home? 2 HOURS. Just 2!!! And I need 20 by April 16th. BEEEEPPPAAAA! Your my last hope. HELP ME.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My fitting

My fitting for my fasion bug fasion show was today. The girl who helped me was named Andrea and she's my best friend now. Haha just kidding but she is awesome. She made me try on like everything in the store. I finally found the cutest outfit and I get like 40% off everything. Im so excited!!! WISH ME LUCK. LOVE YOU FAMILY!!!

SUMMER!!!

WHERE ARE YOU????

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Drivers Ed.

Im not doing to well in with my driving. I think I did better my time driving with my teacher than I did the second time today. Im going driving with my mom in a minute. Any other volenteers to take me driving hit me up my numba is 603 528 7874. PEACE

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I couldn't ask for more.

Today I realized while I was taking my shower that I have accomplished a lot just this year. Only three months into 2008 and Ive gotten so many opportunity's. I made it into concert choir this year and it's been my dream since freshman year. It was a goal I had and I accomplished it. I also made it into Barbershop for the second year in a row. However this year I chose not to attend. Simone, my runner up will be attending. Shes been my runner up for every thing and I feel bad so I'm giving her a chance this year.

I am modeling for Fashion bug which will be a great experience.

I have also started drivers ed. It took me a while to finally get into a class but I am doing just fine. I went driving with my teacher and I'm not as bad as I thought I was. Mom is taking me today since it's a beautiful sunny day out. I hope she does anyway...

I have applied to not 1 not 2 but 4 jobs in the last two days. I've applied to my favorite store at the Belknap Mall, Maurice's. I also applied to Shaw's and CVS in the Belknap Mall as well. The other place I applied is a nursing home Called Taylor's Community.They have different job openings in that one building and is looking for at LEAST 5 new workers.

Mom and I are looking into buying me a car. We are going to work together on this considering we both wont be able to share a car while I have a job in the mid afternoon to evenings and she doesn't even get out until after 4:00-4:30.

I am so grateful.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Americas Next PHAT Model

I'm modeling for Fashion bug now!!! Woot Woot. Im a plus size model and I model on Saturday March 15th. Im hoping it will raise my self confidense a little bit.

I drive tomorrow with my teacher during 7th period and Im sooooooooooooo nervous. Im feeling more confortable than I was though... which is good...

Monday, March 3, 2008

Vacation

My vacation was BORRRRRRRRRING. I was sick all vacation and I'm just now getting over it.

I START DRIVERS ED TODAY!!!!! I leave here at 4:45 to be there by 5. Im nervous, I dont have any driving experiance. Well I have driven on the camp road and Debbie ( scotts mom) let me drive her car once and she let me practice backing up and parking and what not but I dont think Im a good driver. I hope I do well. I really want my lisence even though I dont have a car...YET!!! Im looking for a job so I can save money over the summer.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

If This is a Dream, Please Dont Wake Me Up!!!

I've been waiting for my chorus teacher to post who will get into concert choir for next year. If you didn't know what concert choir is, its basically a higher level chorus that you have to audition in front of the teacher to get in. You have to know solfedge ( do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do) you have to know rythem counting and thats hard to explain. You have to know how to count beats and know your notes and most of all you have to have a good singing voice. There are limited amount of people who can be in it. 7 people for each voice part and there are 4 voice parts but the mens parts are spilt so there are still only 7 men in the choir. only 2 or 3 people get in each year because senoirs are leaving and some people drop. This meant if I got in I would be 1 person chosen out of the 20 altos to get in. Thats a 5% chance.

This has been my dream since I got into highschool. I knew that this was around the time she would post. So today I asked her to sign my corse selection sheet and it said 'full chorus' and she signed it. So I said to myself "Ill just have to try for next year." Today, the same day she signed my sheet she posted the list. I didn't even bother to look at it until my friend Simone said " Congrats Heather'" and I was like " what are you talking about?" and she said I made it. I immediatly smiled and said " no i didnt, no i didnt" until my eyes met that list and it said Alto's ( voice part ) and I followed the names all the way down until I saw Heather Lord. I cried. I cried so hard because this is my dream this is what Ive wanted for two years. I did it. I went in to my chorus teachers office and HUGGED her. I said " G ( because her name is Mrs. Gibson and we all call her G for short) You tricked me" and she said " I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn't want to give it away" and she wipped the tear off the side of my cheek.

I called mom and I was crying and she thought it was something bad. But it wasnt. Shes proud of me. That itself is a good feeling.

Being in concert choir gives us so much more previlages. We get to go to disney world by raising money and singing in the park somewhere. We get to meet the governor and sing for him at special occasions( how do you spell that?). We can do many more festivals, like barbarshop ( which is March 15th if yall wanna come to it at my school, Im not really sure what times or what it cost, but family gets first dibs on tickets so let me know if you wanna come, its a saturday). Its amazing. Im so excited. Love and support thats all im askin for.

Friday, February 15, 2008

hmmm

Ill be home all weekend. Judy wants me to babysitt her kids for a few hours on saturday. But I dont what too.

My valentines day was pretty crapy id have to say. Things between Scott and I arent really workin out. Which I'd expect because we are both growing up and finding new responsibilities.

Monday, February 11, 2008

And...just for laughs












Nevermind



This is day one....



Thats my magnetic patch at an angle




This is my pink wall after we painted over the magnetic patch. Only really strong magnets hold lil flimsy ones wont hold very well.








This is my beautiful bed and patrick (scotts brother is laying on it and getting boy germs all over it)
Ill have more for you guys later.....

Pictures

My computer is wicked gay and wont let me post pictures of my newly painted room! SOMEONE HELP!!!!!!

I got or should I say my mother got, a drivers ed packet today in the mail because I start in less then a month. Some things I think I will keep in the glove compartment because I think Ill have to reminded her of some of the things the packet says like, " Give them plenty of practice time" and " Be patient with them " and " Teenagers love praise and encouragement, give them plenty" and " Let them be responsible for their own decisions while behind the wheel" Stuff like that.

I also got my "out of class" drivers log so I can start getting my hours in now, If someone would just take me for goodness sake!!!! I NEED 20 HOURS OF AT HOME PRACTICE PEOPLE!!!! 16 hours total with my drivers ed teacher. Thats 36 hours which means thats a day and a half total!!! goodness gracious.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Day one

So far I finished the magnetic patch of the wall and the two yellow walls. I walk in my room and smile. I LOVE IT. I cant wait until I get it completely finshed.

Even mom likes the yellow...UH-OH her femanin (sp?) side is showing again....

ps. my spell check tabs and some of the other tabs arent working

Friday, February 8, 2008

Thats the first!!!

let me first off tell you about my freshmen year so you dont get confused. Last year I was taking college english 9 like I was supposed to. Well I failed second semester and didnt get a half credit for it so this year I had to make up that half credit. That means this semester I was goning to have an advanced college english 10 and a college english 9.

So heres how my shedule was so I could make up that half credit

1st Semester

period 1= Chorus
period 2= advanced college english 10
period 3= P.E
period 4= French
period 5= Algebra 1
period 6= Advanced college U.S history
period 7= Science 9

So last year I didnt take science for some odd reason. That wasnt my decision! So this year I started taking science. Well I bombed that last semester so mom, my coucilor and I agreed to start fresh with science next year so I could make up my english credit from last year. I only need two years of science so ill basically be craming it in to my last two years of school! So this was my schedule for this semester.

period 1= chorus
period 2= advanced college english 10
period 3= study hall
period 4= french
period 5= Algebra 1
period 6= Advanced college U.S history
period 7= College English 9

So today I was sitting in my english 9 class and she was going through the homework and all of a sudden she looked at me and told me I needed to leave. So of course I asked her why 'cause I didnt do anything. She told me that this class was way to easy for me because Im way to smart. I was WHOA okay thats the first! Ive never heard of being kicked out of a class for being smart. Then she sent me to quidence to go into a higher level class. Which meant that my shedule would change once again so this is my shedule as of now

period 1= chorus
period 2= Advanced english 10
period 3= Advanced english 9
period 4= french
period 5= algevra 1
period 6= advanced vollege U.s history
period 7= NO CLASS FOR ME I GET TO GO HOME!!!!!!!

Yeah I get to go home at 1:10 now instead of 2:05. I know that it makes no sense why if Im that smart I couldnt have passed english last year and now Im getting moved up a level. Im not ashamed of failing last year because this year I am determined to do better. Last year just was not a good year for me. This year I am taking responsibilty for what I screwed up. On the plus side I get to go home early =]

Thursday, February 7, 2008

So much to tell you ♥

I got my report card today and I have a total of 9.5 credits from my freshmen year and the first semester of my sophmore year! GO ME. I figure if I do well and pass all my classes for second semester I wil have a total of 11.5 credits. I cant wait until next year though because the shedule is changing. We will have four or five classes a day and getting a full credit for each instead of just a half. We also will have diffent classes each semester so we can get up to 8 to 10 credits a year. I need 22 credits to graduate and I can graduate one semester early if I wanted If all goes well!

Also I just started reading a book called " The curious incident of the dog in the night-time" By Mark Haddon. Im reading it for my English class and I just started reading it on sunday and I finished it last night. She gave us untill february 15th to finish it. Its a book about a 15 year old boy named Christopher Boone who has Asberger symdrom which if you didnt know its one of the seven types of autism. It starts out about a dog that had died and he tries to find out who killed the dog and then it turns into something so much more than that. During most of the book I forgot I was reading about a teenager. It felt like I was reading about a 7 or 8 year old. If you didnt know, children or adults with autish usually are very smart however, they have issues with the world like christopher doesnt like his food touching on the same plate, he doesnt like to be touched, he doestn like certain colors, he doesnt like loud noises or a lot of change etc etc. The list could go on and on and thats what makes the book so interesting. Just seeing how he is able to cope with the world around him while he trys to do things his way. Its hard to explain but its deffinatly a book I recommend.

Last night I also went to lowes to get paint for my room! Im painting it tulip yellow and Magdas pink. Its a really pretty color pink. Two walls paralell to eachother are going to be pink and the other two walls paralell to eachother are going to be yellow. Mom thought it'd be a good idea to get the magnetic paint just like Alyssa. Haha.

Also, I dont know if I told you this already but I deffinatly got into drivers ed for March 4th. I got all the paper work and stuff. Im excited! But now I need to find a job =[ Ill probably be taking after my cousins and work at wendys....

Thursday, January 24, 2008

OMG

Im not kidding when i say that this song totally changed my life

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Chorus:
Never alone
Never alone
I¹ll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you¹re never alone

Well I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I’m not gonna promise the cold winds won¹t blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Chorus

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fear surrounds you
Wrap my love around you
You¹re never alone

Chorus

My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Um okay?

So I didnt have to go into school until like 12 for my English final today. We had to bring our writers notebooks to class so she can read some of our entrys and grade them and stuff. Well she gave mine back to me with some comments. On the veary last page of my writers notebook she wrote "You have some amazing talents Heather and youre an amazing writer. The only thing I have to say is that you have some very strong opinions and you may want to be careful with that, especially as a writer." Thats an exact quote too. Word for word. So I asked myself more questions like, should I listen to an english teacher about if I can write or not? Or should I be listening to a professional critic? Thats not the first time she's told me she thought I could write. She told me one day after class. She told me in some other comments in my papers. I dont get her though. On one of my papers she told me I am a good writer but on that same paper she gave me a C-? Pssh whatever! So than what is a good writer?

Ive been so confused lately. Next year ( my junior year ) our guidence councilers encourage us to start to look for colleges and stuff. Well I still dont know what to do. I really want to be a cosmotologist but at the same time I really want to be a photographer. Scotts mommy told me to go to school for both and I was like "Wah? youre crazy" and she was saying how I could do both. She said that I could get into the modeling industry. I looked at her like she was crazy and said "yeah right! I dont want to model(for obvious reasons.) Then she was like no no you can do hair and make up and all that and then photograph them for high fashion. PPAHH thats funny. Id never make it that far not in my wildest dreams. So im in a pit of endless dreams I wanna do this and I wanna to that. But whats best for me. I wanna make it somewhere I wanna be somebody. I wanna be that girl that everybody wants to get their hair done from or that photographer that people know and recomend. Its all hard work. If I could really have it my way. Id sing. Id get a record deal some way and make it and be the anti-brittney! You know the type of role model that moms want there kids look up to and dance to my music or whatever. Again a bottemless pit of endless dreams!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

YAYYY ME

I made it into barbershop again!!!

and i have finals next week...ugh


So I have a new dream. I want to try out for american idol. Even if its just for the experiance and the excitement. Moms supporting me for it....

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Woah

You asked me my opinion about god and I gave it too you. Why are you giving me a hard time about it? (mom told me to put it plain and simple like that instead of beating around the bush)

Drunk driving is bad and wont label people who do it either because I know one person who had been drunk driving and they happen to be very close to me. I think people who have problems like that need more support than critism and I feel that way because I did live a household with a drug addict. And at the time I didnt want him to get help but over the years Ive learned. I dont agree with most decissions peole make. I have grown up so fast and I have learned so much about that type of life style because I have been on the other side of that life style. I know the disapointment and I know the feeling. Its hard to explain but just living with an addict taught me a lot. I know the feeling of some of people who I had described. Ive been judged based on my personal life my WHOLE life.

When I said it wasnt based on opinion anymore and it was based on fact. I meant that its basically a fact that the world is based on opinion and opinions hurt people.

Monday, January 7, 2008

How I feel

In my English class, my teacher has us write in a journal about subjects that she gives us or on a quote she gives us. I guess she just thought this quote was going to be a good topic and a good class discussion.

I wasn't sure how I felt about the quote. I haven't really thought about whether not god made us strong enough to handle big situations. As a matter of fact, I don't even know if I believe in god. I think all the time about if there was a god and if he did have all the powers and what not that every one says he does, then why is our world the way it is. If he had all those qualities people say he does than why doesn't he fix the world and how we live. Don't you think he would have stopped all of it before it even happened? Don't you think that if he really knew what the future held he wouldn't have 'created' such a world. God loves us? If he did and if there is a god than why are there terrorists, murderers, rapists, thief's, and whole bunch of other types of people? I could go on and on and on about why I don't think that I do believe in him. Maybe its not about believing in him. Maybe I just don't have the trust and faith that other people have in him.

It just gets me to the point that NOTHING IS ACCEPTED in this world anymore. Mentally challenged people get picked on, 'gays' get picked on, fat people get picked on, people who are 'too thin' get picked on, adults who don't have jobs are labeled, adults who struggle with money are labeled, teens who don't do good in school get judged, teens who get married are labeled and judged, teen pregnancy is labeled and judged, people who go to 'poor' schools get labeled, people who go to 'rich' schools are labeled,people who aren't considered 'beautiful' are judged and labeled, people with STDS are judged and labeled, people are labeled for EVERYTHING. Is that really how we want to be? NO. Is that how the world was raised? Yes. We are followers. There is no leader. We follow somebody who has one opinion and then it turns to a big mess. This is what the world is and I choose to accept those people who aren't accepted. If I could I would change the views of people. If I could I'd change the world. But I choose to accept the fact that people can only change themselves. I'm one person and no one will listen to a 16 year old girl.

Remember how I said we could start a chain reaction to change the world? Well we did start a chain reaction, only this reaction isn't a positive reaction. Its the reaction of hurt lives, of hurt bodies, of hurt souls.

I bet you that at least HALF of my readers wont even ACCEPT what I just had to say. Its not based on opinion anymore, its based on fact.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Agree or disagree

I came upon this quote and I want to know if EVERYONE agrees or disagrees with it.

"God never gives you anything you will not be able to handle"