Got a Job

As most of you know I have a job on Saturdays. And almost all of you have asked me what this place is called and when I'm starting. I got my information today. It's called Ames Farm Inn and it's in Gilford. I'm supposed to start on July 4Th but I asked for that weekend off and shes okay with that because she's my teacher and she knows me well. I told her for the rest of the summer I'm free. So buh bye camp =(. I will start on July 11Th. I get paid $10 an hour for about 5-6 hours a day. Not to bad for one day a week.
I got this job with out applying and with out even an interview because she is my teacher. Shes my teacher in Early Childhood Educations so she knows how hard I work in that class. I knew it would pay off.
Of course $50 to $60 a week wont get me far but it will start me off. I'm still looking for a second job for the summer so I can save up as much as possible. I will need to find a job as close to home as possible so I can walk but right now I will also take whatever I can get. I feel bad for mom because she will have to stay home on weekends to because I will need the car to at least get to Gilford on Saturdays. Im sorry momma.
( haha I am taking car donations. just kidding )

I will miss camp sooooooooo much and I hope you wont forget about me.

My Very Last

Tonight is my last concert of my whole school career. That means I won't ever be singing in a large group for the rest of my life. I can't take it next year cuz I'm outa there in January.
It's kind of sad acutally. I have been in a chorus since I was in second grade. That's 9 years of a strong consistant passion. I won't stop singing. I'll just be singing a lot less.
One of the songs we are singing tonight is called 'time is my friend' and it just kind of hits me in the pit of my stomach. You'd have to know the song to understand what I mean, but it basically means you move forward and grow. Somethings end while other things start and that fits whats going on with me sometime soon.

ANYWAY

CAMP TOMORROW. GETTING OUTA SCHOOL SUPER EARLY.

CANT WAIT

grr

The burn on my belly isn't getting any better. It's really red. It's not pink like it was before. It's not like red like it's ifected but it's kinda gross still. I know this will leave me a nice big scar on my belly. I get a scar from any little thing. I even have a scar from when they drew blood from the blood drive. That's pathetic. Oh well. Not much I can do about it huh?

I NEED A JOB!!!!

One Hurdle Left.

Over the past 17 years I have deffinitly had to jump hurdles that I wish I didn't have to, but now all those hurdles are jumped and beatin' down into the ground never to be seen again.

My schedule for next year is set in stone now and I will for sure be graduating in January of 2010! I can't even believe it. I feel like my high school years are flying by so fast. Techically speaking I only have 113 days left to sit in a high school class room. ( Thats including the rest of this year and next year ) First block next year I will be taking Technology in America as my last History credit. Second block I will be taking Mythology as my last English credit. Third block I will be taking Digital Art and Design for and elective. And my last class of the day will be Creativity and Design as another elective.

So you're probably wondering what this last hurdle is.

My weight. You all know I've basically 'struggled' with it my whole life. I've held back a lot because of my wieght. I even didn't go to my own Junior prom this year because of how I look. I told every body I didn't want to go. Truth was I so badly wanted to go but Im just so self concious.

Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of friends and I love them all but I'm not social with them. I don't go anywhere with them. The only one I can actually trust is Rebecca. I've even learned how to make fun of myself before any one else can so it doesn't hurt so bad. I've always said to myself 'When are you gonna do something about this you fatty?!' But everytime I tried I'd give in to temptations or I wouldn't get off my butt and exercize.

I was beginning to see the tolls my weight had takin on my body. Shortness of breath, aches in my knees, pains all over, and clothes sizes kept getting bigger. I was like, 'HEATHER YOU'RE 17 NOT 48. WAKE UP!' So I did. Finally I woke up one day last week, got out of bed and said this is it. I can't keep doing this to myself any more. Since then I have been exercizing every day for 30 minutes or more; eating my dailey servings of fruits, veggies, meats, etc, and drinking plenty of water. I haven't given up yet and I have no intentions to. I know if I don't keep up what I've been doing so well for the past week and a half, I will keep living in all these emotions and I don't want to.

Starting to exercize wasn't at all what I wanted to do but I knew I had to. And now I can't get enough of it. Even after only a week and a half I feel like I have more energy and I'm not so tired at school any more. To feel this good already, I really don't want to give up.

My mother is a big part of this journey and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Shes the motivation I needed. My mom talks me through it when I do have a few moments of doubt. She recaps my success so far which I need sometimes just to boost my esteem. She of course buys the right kinds of foods to eat and makes sure its the foods I like but at the same time it give me my nutrional value. She lets me know she has faith in me and that by far is the best feeling.

Oh, The Pains of Mothers Day.

Yesterday, Mothers Day, I woke up and began cleaning my room because thats what mother asked for. "A clean house." As I am taking a break I hear a loud sigh coming from the living room about every 3 minutes. Finally I open my door and say "What do you want?" and she would reply "Ohhhh nothing." She kept doing this over a period of say a half hour? Finally I said "Wouldja stop beating around the bush and tell me what you want?" She said "Food." I ask her what she wants and she doesn't know. So I sit around the house waiting for her to tell me but she never gives me an answer. Finally she comes up with the idea of me making her mac and chesse. ( not a very healthy choice I may add ) and so I put some water on to boil and then I pour the noodles in to cook. When the noodles are done I need to strain them. I'm not exactly sure how this happend, maybe I wasnt paying attention, or maybe I poured to fast, or maybe I spilled it, but in a second I spill the BOILING water all over me. With a culdrin in one hand and a pot in the other I hesitated on where to put them. Drop both in the sink or on the counter. Fianlly I just dropped both where ever my hands were hovering. I lift my shirt to find THIS on my left belly. Yeah it was kinda hard to tell if it was swollen. Haha. But it was deffinately red and causing me pain.

Beware


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Im serious

I miss my uncle very much.♥

July 4th, 2005