Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What Beepa's Truck Has Taught Me (and other thoughts)

Responsibility for sure.

When Beepa first gave me this truck to use for the summer I was just happy to have a vehicle to depend on other then my mothers. I didn't have to wait for her to get home to go job searching or to go grocery shopping and I havent had to keep mom from going to Vermont when she wants to. But now I truly understand the responsibility of having a vehicle.

I have to think about gas and power steering fluid before I even think about spending money on something else. Or saving it of course.

I have to keep it cleaned. I never used to take out my trash or empty water bottles in Moms car but now I truly understand the annoyance of a messy car. Eww.

I take care of it. I don't like when people get to close to me driving but I have to do my best because I cant control other drivers.

Beepa's truck and I have a good relationship. The truck and I have agreed if I take care of him he will take care of me. So far the pact is still tight. haha

I thought about some of these things with moms car but not as much as I do now with beepas truck.

Now to turn the tables around and go from one extreme to another.

Many of you have heard about the issues with my father. He moved to Texas and wanted me to go down there and talk to him face to face about the problems I have with him.

At first I said I would go. Before you get angry and ask why I will try my best to tell you why but its not easy. I made a post about how Beepa has been the man in my life for my whole life and I don't take that back I still feel that way greatly. But chuck is my dad and I will always be mad at him but at the same time i will always want what I didn't have from him. Like I told mom, I wouldn't go to find something better than what I do have because there is nothing better than what I have.

So I thought about it for just about the past three weeks. I have decided that going to Texas isn't going to change anything. I have also thought hard about how I want him to be in my life. I want him to be like a buddy. I don't want him to be like a father cuz he is not. This may be cold but I decided if chuck and I did regain some kind of relationship i wouldn't want him at my graduations and i wouldn't want him at my wedding some day. He doesn't deserve to go to either occasions. Graduating high school and one day cosmetology school are big steps to growing up and hitting the real world. I don't think he deserves to be here for these because he wasn't around to see me transition. And as for getting married someday...the person who should give me away is the person who has raised me my whole life and that is my mother.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's Been a While

I stayed at camp for two weeks and one day exactly. The first few days were rough because of funerals and grandfathers going to the hospital (well just my beepa anyway) But once mom left; Grammie, Beepa, and I worked hard every day to get the camp ready and cleaned before every one got there on Thursday or Friday. Grammy taught me how to wash windows the "way professionals do it" and make grilled cheese. I became pro at both my the end of the week. This year the boat wasn't even in until the 3rd or 4Th. Crazy I know but it had been raining every day.

Finally the hobonanza began and I opened up by singing the anthem and steph gave us a little task with rules. After a day of fun on the fourth I went to the caves on Sunday for the first time ever. I was surprised I kept up with the guys almost the whole way. Until we reached the very steep part. I thought my legs and lungs where just gonna collapse. But I did it and I experienced half of one of the caves. I didn't go in the first one because it looked narrow and then it got narrow in the second one as well so i turned around. Maybe next time. Jesse, Jeff and I were so dirty we jumped in the lake with all our clothes on to get the excess dirt off. BOY is the water FREEZING. Even though the water was freezing Jesse went knee boarding , and us kids of the lord camp went swimming in the cove.

Thursday rolled around a little too fast for me and I had to figure out a way to get home. I thought I was gonna take moms car and then Kim was gonna meet me in Tilton to pick her up. Then mom and beepa told me I was going to take beepas truck FOR THE SUMMER. So Beepa took me out and taught me a lot about the truck and then gave me some specific instructions. Mean while I am taking senior pictures with auntie steph. The ones I have seen are beautiful and I cant wait to see more.

Beepa when you said your power steering thingy had a leak i was thinking 'alright i bet its not that bad.' But I already had to fill it back up yesterday. Haha. And when I lift the hood I still have to push down the little spring thingy. It still sticks. But it's fine. Thank You Beepa!!!

Oh yeah, and yesterday I had an interview at Clarks Bostonian Shoe Depot but I'm not even going to begin to tell you how that went. It didn't go bad but it was almost pointless.