Wednesday, May 13, 2009

One Hurdle Left.

Over the past 17 years I have deffinitly had to jump hurdles that I wish I didn't have to, but now all those hurdles are jumped and beatin' down into the ground never to be seen again.

My schedule for next year is set in stone now and I will for sure be graduating in January of 2010! I can't even believe it. I feel like my high school years are flying by so fast. Techically speaking I only have 113 days left to sit in a high school class room. ( Thats including the rest of this year and next year ) First block next year I will be taking Technology in America as my last History credit. Second block I will be taking Mythology as my last English credit. Third block I will be taking Digital Art and Design for and elective. And my last class of the day will be Creativity and Design as another elective.

So you're probably wondering what this last hurdle is.

My weight. You all know I've basically 'struggled' with it my whole life. I've held back a lot because of my wieght. I even didn't go to my own Junior prom this year because of how I look. I told every body I didn't want to go. Truth was I so badly wanted to go but Im just so self concious.

Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of friends and I love them all but I'm not social with them. I don't go anywhere with them. The only one I can actually trust is Rebecca. I've even learned how to make fun of myself before any one else can so it doesn't hurt so bad. I've always said to myself 'When are you gonna do something about this you fatty?!' But everytime I tried I'd give in to temptations or I wouldn't get off my butt and exercize.

I was beginning to see the tolls my weight had takin on my body. Shortness of breath, aches in my knees, pains all over, and clothes sizes kept getting bigger. I was like, 'HEATHER YOU'RE 17 NOT 48. WAKE UP!' So I did. Finally I woke up one day last week, got out of bed and said this is it. I can't keep doing this to myself any more. Since then I have been exercizing every day for 30 minutes or more; eating my dailey servings of fruits, veggies, meats, etc, and drinking plenty of water. I haven't given up yet and I have no intentions to. I know if I don't keep up what I've been doing so well for the past week and a half, I will keep living in all these emotions and I don't want to.

Starting to exercize wasn't at all what I wanted to do but I knew I had to. And now I can't get enough of it. Even after only a week and a half I feel like I have more energy and I'm not so tired at school any more. To feel this good already, I really don't want to give up.

My mother is a big part of this journey and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Shes the motivation I needed. My mom talks me through it when I do have a few moments of doubt. She recaps my success so far which I need sometimes just to boost my esteem. She of course buys the right kinds of foods to eat and makes sure its the foods I like but at the same time it give me my nutrional value. She lets me know she has faith in me and that by far is the best feeling.


Beckie Baby said...
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Beckie Baby said...

Just remember though, you ARE beautiful no matter what. Keep it up, I believe in you && so does everyone else. Love ya♥