I MISSED IT!!!

So I just found out that the American Idol tour was in Manchester NH on August 10Th and I missed it.

If you didn't know already, Mom and I have talked it over and she said if I honestly, truly, really wanted to audition for American Idol I could. She would support me no matter what. And I honestly, truly, really want to audition.

I know it's tough and Simon can be a meany head. But I don't care what he says. It's worth a try. I sang in front of every body in the Pav and I got a lot of good feed back. If I can sing in front of 30 or more people I can sing in front of three judges. And since then I have improved. I must not suck that bad if I can get into the Barber shop festival and concert choir.

Singing is my life.
"No guts, no glory."

High School Drama

And I havnt even started school yet....

Too Young to be a Junior

This past summer I have realized that I'm growing up fast. I will be in my 3rd year of high school this year and it feels like I just started high school. I've also realized that I need to take responsibility for a lot of the things I do or want. I need to get a job. Most of my summer I've applied places and then I just stopped applying because I didn't want to give up my summer. That was a bad choice.

My 17Th birthday is coming up faster than expected and I'm dreading it. I'm sure my mother is too. I guess I wasn't really sure of what would happen while growing into a young adult. Now I know. I have to work hard in school. I have to get a job. I have to look for colleges. I have to take care of myself. Although I am nervous about my life after high school, my mother has done an excellent job of raising me on her own for almost 17 years. And on her own she taught me the values of life whether she spoke it or I observed it.

I will admit that I am afraid of growing up.
A lot has happened to me in my 16 years. I don't look at them as being bad things I look at them as being life lessons. Duane was an addict and I know what its like to be on the other side. I believe he was in my life for that reason. He taught me what it's like to go through this stuff. And while I was never doing drugs, I know what the effects are on your body, your mind, and your family. I have promised my self I will never do drugs or ever get involved with anyone who does. My dad left me when I was born and has been in and out of my life for 16 years. He's not in my siblings lives either. I'm still struggling with that but it has made me a stronger person. I realize that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes the people who care the most have to pay for it.

I have a good head on my shoulders and I intend to do the best I can and nothing short of it.

Im not too Impressed

I went to my interview early. I got there around 12:15 and at 12:20 we started the interview. I get in there and she was looking over my application and said " Oh you're not 18?" I said " No, I thought I put my birth date on the application." She said I did but she didn't look over the application before Mr. Mitchell sent up and interview. Then she asked me why I applied if the applicant had to be 18 and I told her that the website said nothing about having to be 18 ( only I told her in a more polite way) and she appoligized and said she would have that fixed right away.

I am definatly not impressed. They wasted my time and theirs because they didn't look over my application. It made me look like a fool.

mixed feelings

I have my interview at 12:30 today at Northway Bank. I sorta don't want to get the job. I'm actually enjoying my summer for the most part and I don't want to waste it working. But I need a job. If I want a car I need a job. If I want to move out later in life I need to save up.

Everybody has to work at some point in their lives and I am one of them who does not want to.............

Im sorry

Yesterday I posted a blog about how happy I was to get a job interview when In reality I was miserable all day. I tried hard not to think about it. I had a small talk with my mom about it and that was all. I don't know why but today I hurt more than I did yesterday. I hurt more last weekend too. Jesse and I stayed up until one in the morning just talking about Joe and the last weekend we had spent with him. And I remember how I almost didn't even come up that weekend and I'm glad I did. Then the next night Jenn and I talked for hours about him. I don't know why I feel more hurt today than yesterday. I guess I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to be reminded. But everyday I am reminded. I miss him.

GOOD NEWS

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance switching to Gieco!!!

Haha jk

I HAVE AN INTERVIEW NEXT WEDNESDAY!

It's at Northway Bank and I applied to be a Teller. I'd work about 18-20 hours a week and start out pay is $9 an hour. I'd also get to get out of work at 4 on mondays, tuesdays, and wednesday and then I get out at 5 on thursdays and Fridays. Thats only if I work afternoon shift. I get out at 12 on saturdays. AND as everyone knows there is no such thing as a bank open on sundays! The good thing is that it's about a 10 minute walk there. It's in downtown.

I'm so excited for my interview. I hope I get the job. Actually, I KNOW I will get the job!